one hour at a time... baby steps
It's a new week, and I feel compelled to be more social. To brave the outside world again. To make plans with friends and receive support. I'm open to receiving all types of support right now.
I still can't believe my dad's gone.
His sudden death has been hard to reckon with. What could have been done to avoid this result? I know it doesn't matter. But my brain seeks solutions anyways.
So for now, I turn to my tools after a long absence. I have journaled, but I'm willing myself to meditate again. Some breathing exercises. I'll sign up for a yoga class or two this week (if I'll follow through with that is another story).
I know what will help me will be in service to others again. To return back to my work, to hold space for others as that is what I've always done. It feels good to be of help to others, especially when you draw up blanks on how to help yourself.
Tarot has been a great help to me during this time, and my tarot clients have been understanding and patient with my grief. I remember the reason why I enjoy tarot is that it is an invitation to be vulnerable, to express oneself and to be heard, to process, to reflect, to visualize options and hopefully identify the most aligned one.
When all is said and done, I just want to help and love on others. To reduce the barriers to having meaningful conversations that facilitate understanding and compassion.
There's that saying when there's a crisis, "look for the helpers". I'm not sure if I classify as that, although I'd like to, because I believe I am meant to serve in a such a way. Serving may have an odd connotation for some, but it is simple to me -- it always felt right and true.
I'm holding on to the hope of being able to do some good in the world by being of service... to help lessen this pain and loneliness, this grief. For myself and hopefully for others.
We need one another. I love you.
One hour at a time.. one step at a time.. baby steps...
Thanks for being here.
Sincerely,
Nadine ♥